Her Eyes

    She shoved so hard that your bones broke and something inside you shattered. You became angry, mean, and self destructive. Being near her made you ache and quake with something worse than rage. You stopped seeing her. You just couldn't stand to see the face that broke you with hate. You turned inward searching for the piece she despised so you could rip it out. You wanted to tear yourself limb from limb looking for the offensive part of your soul. You wanted to remove everything from inside in the hopes that you'd remove the bad parts along with everything else. You'd rather be empty of everything than be burned by a look. You wanted to feel whole again, so you chased other girls looking for a gaze drenched in love. But you were so young, what were you expecting? Forever? You never found love and in the end found more gazes similar to hers. Yet no one could ever match the intensity.

    Thoughts of her haunted you. You couldn't sleep, nightmares of the hateful looks fighting off any sound sleep. You became obsessed with her and why she could be so full of hate towards you. What did you ever do?

    Her fiery eyes cripple you even in memory. How could something so beautiful create something so violent? The smoldering look of something buried deep in her past. You dig and dig deep inside yourself trying to find the broken piece of you that had cut her so deeply. Endless nights of rage and self pity bring you to your knees. Quietly whispering, "What's wrong with me?". You don't recognize yourself. The mirror has been smashed by your angry fists fueled by  memories of her. Blood dribbles off your fingertips dripping to the tile floor. You're bleeding. It knocks you back to reality, the crimson liquid proof that you are here not in the past. The blood brings you back from the edge of a black out rage. You sigh with relief but it is short lasting. You still don't know who you are. Every piece inside is broken and sharp making every movement send a stabbing pain through your weakening body.

    You reach down, barely conscious of what you are doing, and grab a shard of broken glass. It doesn't glide it rips through your forearm. More beautiful blood to keep you in the moment but the eyes are burned into your mind. All you want to do is forget. You dig with the shard hoping to retreive the piece inside filled with hate and rage. You hope to remove everything that ever offended anone. Remove all the bad pieces of yourself. In the moment you are obsessed and intent on your goal. You can see nothing but her eyes and the image keeps changing. You see everyone you've ever known but their eyes are as hell bent on destroying you as hers were. You need it to go away. You are so lost. You turn to bloodshed.