literature

Self Hate

Deviation Actions

kml91225's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

Cuts along my ribs
Because I hate mirrors.

Blood down my side
Because I'm fat

I can't eat
If I do then,
I'm a failure.
If I do then,
I feel sick.

I've thought my body
Into rejecting food

I want to be skinny
Life is handing me reasons
Dressed nice on a silver platter
No money for food at my house
New meds that take my hunger away

I can stop eating again
Without being noticed
Last time I dropped 35lbs in 2 weeks
I'm going for more this time

I hate myself
Want to hurt all the time
I want to punish myself for breathing

Self confidence is fake
It's been undermined by doubt

I'll over-exercise
Till I can't breathe
Dig a blade in everyday
Punish myself when I eat
I need to be skinny
I want no stomach
I want it flat
I want to be beautiful

Even if it kills me
...yeah
© 2012 - 2024 kml91225
Comments54
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reissner's avatar
this sounds a bit like anorexia who act and think the same way. please get professional help to ease along the way and its also a very sensible thing to do that is; behavior therapy to help with thinking patterns, some antdepressant medication as well as an if necessary dose of tranqulizers when needed as a backup medication. its related to a depressive state which is fairly obvious. but cbt behavior therapy is also extremely useful and important.