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Love PoemI've been thinking
It's a real dangerous thing.
But I've been imaging every one of your breaths.
How when we are close enough
I feel the rise and fall of our chests harmonize.
[We are in sync.]
When you breath out, I take in the life you have exhaled.
I don't know if I do this as a theft.
If I am stealing all of your intimacies.
[Is having me close hurting?]
Because I can tell you,
Breathing in all that doubt,
The endless stream of self hate.
[It's starting to hurt my heart.]
That something so delicate and lovely
Could be so full of pain and loathing
[But on the outside.]
Oh, on the outside you are so...perfect in my eyes.
[Perfect isn't quite the right word.]
The way your hips always lean a bit to the right.
And how you pout your lips slightly when your asking for a favor.
The way you roll your eyes when I do something sweet.
And the way you try to make me laugh,
[Even when the light has gone from your beautiful eyes.]
How can I love something so much
And want to be so far
UntitledOnce upon a time I knew a girl
She was my greatest support
Right up until the day she started hating me
And that's okay, I hated myself too.
Everyday I tortured myself
Made myself sick. Mentally, physically, emotionally
I tore myself apart, literally
She hated it.
In the begining she tried to save me
But I think she figrued it out
Far before anyone else did.
Trying to save me was like
Trying to make lead float
Or empty the ocean
I was hopeless
I was doomed.
She saw that and got out, fast.
I'll never blame her for that.
I was self destructing and scary
I was jumping from roofs
And swallowing handfuls of pills
I was dangerous and heart breaking
I'll never know for sure why she left
But I hope it was to save herself.
No one deserved to have a friend like me.
I don't think I ever did the things she claimed
I never wore short sleeves to trigger people
I did it because I felt entitled to try and be normal
I never rubbed my illness in anyo
I Can'tRest your head,
Lean back and close your eyes.
Imagine a life in which
You Are Happy.
I cringe and all that comes is darkness
Infused With LoveThe ever-present sadness presses down
And when I gasp for air one last desperate time
It's your love that finds my lips.
It seeps in with the oxygen
Adding strength to my weak body
Filling my lungs and stiffening my spine
When I am infused with you love
I am strong and unstoppable.
I don't know what I would do without you
I don't know if I'd survive by myself
Or if I could bring myself to wake up
Get on with my life.
Without you there is only emptiness
That hollow beating in my chest
Echoing around my vacant skull
Not Exactly MyselfI find myself walking empty corridors
Fading in an out of awareness.
At one point I am aware of someone holding my arm
I look down and see her hands
Around my elbow covered in blood
I remember fighting her.
I get outside finally
I spin but oh god.
Next thing I know I'm on the ground
Laying with my head towards the stars
I like this view, the sparkling is calming me down
Why do I need calming down?
I can't remember.
I know that I am cold.
But there is a part of me
My left arm...it's warm.
What is this?
I reach down.
Why is it warm?
Is it red?
There's a puddle
Is all that mine?
it all goes black.
I wake to beeping machines
Where am I?
Everything is white.
There are tubes in my arms
Only my right arm.
My left is covered in thick gauze
But it's...speckled in...red?
What's going on?
I can't remember.
Trust FallIt's a continuous trust fall
Every time I try to talk
I'm forever waiting to fall to the ground
I'm waiting for you not to catch me
It's a long fall
The ground is covered in layers of pain
First is the upright razor blades
Then comes the burning fire
Last is the mirror of liquid I will drown in
One of these time you won't catch me
And there won't be anyone to back me up
Instead of just falling
I'm going to jump
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More