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Concussions feel like a biologic metaphor for mental illness It literally boils down to a bruised brain, How is that not a poetic description of mental illness? And it comes with some damn similar side effects I managed to bruise my brain at a roadside attraction A place called South of the Border, Smack dab between North and South Carolina Yeah, yeah it's a clever play on words. I can tell you right where I was when all of this started I was hoisting myself onto the back of a jackalope No this is still not a metaphor It was a concrete animal meant for children. And that is where the trouble began, You see, I am not in fact a child. My 5

Rest your head, Lean back and close your eyes. I obey. Imagine a life in which You Are Happy. I cringe and all that comes is darkness "I can't"

    She hated you  with a burn so hot she couldn't control it. With a gaze that made you shift under its attention. She never wanted you near, did anything to push you away, out of her life.    She shoved so hard that your bones broke and something inside you shattered. You became angry, mean, and self destructive. Being near her made you ache and quake with something worse than rage. You stopped seeing her. You just couldn't stand to see the face that broke you with hate. You turned inward searching for the piece she despised so you could rip it out. You wanted to tear yourself limb from limb looking for the offensive part of your soul. Yo

Alone Gracious solitude. Wandering the labyrinth of my mind. Discovering dark, damp corners, I never knew existed. Adapting to the dark Thriving in the lonely stillness Damned to walk forever, alone. Light cascading flashes like windows in a tunnel. A face appears friendly and smiling. The kind of smile you must return. Soft, gentle arms drawing me out of the dungeon I had inhabited so long I had forgotten how to escape.

I should have known You weren't here to stay Because everyone goes away I couldn't keep you here Maybe I should have tried harder I'll tell myself every night With tear-stained cheeks Because I miss the way you held me (I miss the way you held me together) You were my keystone Without you I don't know if I can stand You were everything I had And something I didn't have. (Like the patience to see this through) I guess alone is where I belong Because of all the things I know Yet would never admit Like how I saw you watch other girls (And how I watched other boys) Let's just admit we were never meant to be And I should

Cross your fingers Close your eyes Life is one crazy ride Twists and turns Thrown at you with little reaction time Have to learn how to stay on your toes Learn how to get back up Everyone falls Some further than others There is no guide No "Life for Dummies" book It's all you You on your own Make the decisions You alone choose your path Good luck June 6th, 2012